Why BOTHER being anything other than completely honest?

Being anything other than completely honest with a girl you are approaching is piling way too much importance on to the interaction. And this is making her higher value than she actually is.

 

There is a literally endless amount of girls around that are physically hot enough for you to sleep with. Whether or not you sleep with any particular one of them is not at all important because for every hot girl you encounter there are another 100 around the next corner.

 

The hot girl you approach is no more important than any other Joe Soap you pass on the street. Being anything other than totally honest implies that she is so important that you need to put on a choreographed act in order to communicate with her, and that you can’t just be normal and yourself. It says that you need to make a big effort to make this thing ‘work out’, to achieve a ‘goal’.

 

The only goal is making the approach in the first place, showing up as a man, checking her out as a prospect.

 

You know zero about the girl, just accept that she could be anything at all, you have no idea what her personality will be like. You may well not really be into her vibe.

 

She could respond well to crafty gaming, she could respond well to pure honesty, she could respond well to Irish traveller drag her out by the hair style seduction. Who knows?

 

Trying to cajole and impress is too much work and effort, it’s low value to put so much effort into someone you know nothing about. Make contact, show her your vibe and let her decide. If she doesn’t bite there’ll be many, many more that do. There are so many girls that will love and get soaking wet for a strong, honest, straightforward man who can be himself.

 

You must just see her as one of the millions of good looking girls that are about and your interaction with her as merely one of the countless interactions that you have with girls all the time.

 

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Frame for ‘3 little chats’

3 chats to eligible girls every single day. It’s daily exercise, stretching, staying limber, it’s cash in the bank.

Fuck self image, it’s just a process. Every chat makes me stronger. Who cares how I look to other people!?

When chatting it’s not about getting validation or good reactions from the girls. You do it for the enjoyment of taking action itself.

Enjoy just starting little chats. 99% of guys are too big pussys to even just start a chat with a girl.

Chat to girls in more and more tough situations. Chat to girls in front of other people as much as possible. Always push it.

It’s never about the girls, it’s about me.

Never take myself too seriously. Fuck around, self amuse, enjoy my own shit.

Just chat to cuties about any old shit, it isn’t supposed to go anywhere.

3 chats a day with cuties builds a rock solid foundation of social confidence that will last forever.

Fulfilling my task every day makes positivity in my life snowball. Kept up over time and it gets easier and easier and my game gets better and better.

Take pleasure in the small victories. Nice little chats, they may go somewhere, they may not.

Build up my prefrontal cortex which gives me the willpower to approach and chat more and more easily.

Action is the cure to all game and social issues, it gets you out of your head which is the key.

You are entitled to the action not the reaction.

Any action is better than no action.

Love the journey. Surrender to the journey. This is a long-haul thing. Must do shit that doesn’t produce the result I want right now. The experiences accumulate and over long periods of time (a month, 6 months, a year, 5 years) I grow. It must be consistent. A day that I go out and chat to 3 girls, all of which knock me back, is a great day!

It doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be.

Nobody gives a fuck about you, nobody’s gonna do it for you.

 

Don’t Be Creepy

Yesterday morning I was sitting at a bus stop, sipping from a rejuvenating and disposable cup of joe and feeling groovy. I was sitting right next to a rather beautiful student from the school I was on my way to give some classes at. I had never seen her before and we were not conversing at all. She was much too young and I was not even remotely tempted to mix business with pleasure.

What made the experience note-worthy however was the fact that I was in the perfect position to feel what it’s like for a girl to be ogled by passing guys.

One middle aged, scruffy, out of shape, unattractive dude in particular kept coming past and coping a big, unsubtle eyeful every time. He was trying to be subtle but failing miserably. He just couldn’t stop staring.

It was pretty gross and he came across super low value and creepy.

It showed me that overt checking out of a girl without smiling, acknowledging, saying ‘hi’, making contact etc. is just plain creepy and low value. She is human, not a piece of meat. And if you don’t know this, it suggests you have precious little experience with women.

So, you can either be creepy and lame and weak (like the vast majority of guys today) and simply upload the image to the wank-bank or you can do the honest, reasonable, un-creepy thing and make contact with the object of your desires.

If, for whatever reason, making contact is not an option (which it is often not, maybe you’re married, maybe you have a headache) do yourself and the girl a favour and keep the ogling to a minimum.

Girls notice guys NOT chatting them up, and they think it’s lame

This post goes out to all my male readers. It has to do with meeting girls and the mind-frame you should have when out and about and eligible.

I was shooting the shit with a girl I’ve been seeing recently and she disclosed a few fascinating truths about how cute girls think. What she said rang true with bits and pieces I’ve heard from other girls when having similarly themed chats. It also made intuitive sense to me.

First of all, she is a sexy girl, a girl that many guys would like to chat to. This is important because if she was below average in the looks department this might suggest different reasons for her observations.

Anyway, from among her insights I took a few important realities that should be realized by all men.

Firstly, she said that guys are really not very forward the vast majority of the time. I approached her directly on the street during the day. She thought this was cool, ballsy and exciting. She said this sort of direct, honest, cheeky approach almost never happens. She lamented that guys are not nearly as forward as they used to be when she was at school. She complained that men have lost their edge and become sissy, betas. (This was not news to me but still interesting to hear it form the horse’s mouth.)

Secondly, she said that a girl can see when a guy thinks she’s cute but doesn’t have the balls to approach her. This lack of balls makes a man much less attractive. So what this means is that when you and a girl share a little moment of eye contact and a smile on the street or in a coffee shop and you still don’t introduce yourself then she just thinks you are a wimp. You must go up and say “hi” to stay attractive, otherwise you are just a reasonably handsome sissy. And a reasonably handsome sissy does not wet a pussy make.

Finally, she confirmed what I already knew, namely that if she finds a guy very attractive she still won’t go up and talk to him or do anything much at all for that matter. It is up to him to make a move. Whenever I read guys writing on game blogs about ‘proximity’ and ‘IOIs’ etc. I think “you pussy, don’t wait around for a girl to invite you over, just be a man, be honest and go after what you want”. Babes are thinking THE SAME THING. Girls will not instigate things, that’s a man’s job.

Risk rejection, give yourself the possibility of success, live your life, laugh, love and go for what you want.

To recap:

Girls want cool guys to chat them up in a normal and honest way outside of the nightclubs, sober.

Girls notice when a guy is checking them out but doesn’t have enough balls to talk to them. This lack of balls is a turn-off.

Most girls won’t do much to let a guy know she thinks he’s cute so a guy must go after what he wants regardless. A man must make his own luck.

So what all of this says to me is that our social conditioning has fucked us up (again). Both sexes are losing out the way things currently stand. While many people think it is weird to chat up a girl sober, during the day, I believe that it is weird NOT to chat up a girl you wanna meet wherever you may encounter her.

PS. I just showed my mother the draft of this article and she said “absolutely son, of course girls like being approached – sure isn’t it all a bit of fun. What have you got to loose!”

Ladies enjoy being approached, the whole thing shouldn’t be treated too seriously. Life is fun. Chance your arm, add some fun to her day.

JUDGE NOT(!), lest you miss out on countless opportunities for fun and great experiences

(WARNING!! Rant alert!)

You miss out MASSIVELY and REGULARLY if you judge people you have never met.

Nobody is ever as they seem – you can NEVER judge a book by it’s cover.

I’ve been proven wrong countless times. Any judgement is completely in my head. It is a reflection on me and not the person being judged.

Judging without meeting HUGELY limits your potential enjoyment of life. Judging others is one of the mindsets that will limit your life-experience the most. It’s why I often have trouble approaching certain types of girls. It’s why there are many amazingly interesting and inspirational people that I come into contact with but fail to connect with on a (presumably) daily basis.

I assume to know (often unconsciously) what guys and girls I see are like. I judge them on their clothes, body-language, demeanor etc., – but this already superficial and shallow evidence is rendered even more flimsy by the fact that it is taken in through my skewed and colored lens, and processed by my biased and oft impetuous ego. It’s commonly a negative assumption that I make about people for some reason. This is highly detrimental to my state of mind.

EVERYBODY’S lens is skewed and biased and inaccurate, that’s why our judgments are so often wrong. We must be aware of this and be forever vigilant and self-aware. We must wage war on our propensity to jump to judgments. WE REALLY DON’T KNOW AS MUCH AS WE THINK WE DO.

I’M NEARLY ALWAYS PROVED WRONG when I eventually meet people that I formed a judgment on prior to our interacting. (“Hot, sassy, sexy women” I assume to be super-confident BUT turn out to be shy and vulnerable kittens, “huge, tough, tattooed gym guys” who look like they’re in gangs BUT turn out to be soft, kindly, humble and even timid gentlemen, “doddering, senile, ignorant and out of touch old people” who I am soooo much more advanced than BUT turn out to have life-experience, smarts and insight that I can’t even begin to imagine: I meet these prototypes ALL THE TIME.)

I gotta stop judging. I must totally condition myself to stop this super-harmful behavior. It’s all in my head – the bad vibes are coming from ME.

I choose what I think. I gotta have a totally open, positive mind; always thinking the best of people, until hard evidence proves otherwise.

Never write somebody off before you meet them.

Nobody is “as they look” – whatever the fuck that means.

I am literally always wrong about people – I just can’t tell accurately.

For example, last night at the gym I was feeling negative and mildly depressed (hung-over, ate some shitty food, masturbated before I left the house). I thought that everyone in the gym looked mean and that they would all be mean if I spoke to them. Fast forward to today; more gym. I feel good. I slept well last night, ate well this morning and my testosterone levels have recovered. I am certain there are no semen stains on my pants – life is good. Many of the same peeps are at the gym and this time I chat to them. Whaddya-know?! THEY’RE ALL NICE! Friendly, shy and eager to chat. Yesterday I thought they were all vain, too-cool-for-school and intimidating. Dead wrong I was.

You judge because you are afraid. It is a defense mechanism.

But it’s doing you so much harm.

How many times are you gonna let that cute stranger pass without saying “hi” because she looks aloof, or distant, or cold, or whatever?

The answer is almost always that they are a bit shy because they are unconsciously forming their own judgments.

BREAK THE CIRCLE. Never judge, but instead ENGAGE at every opportunity. Be totally involved in the human race. Be open and kind with your brothers and sisters and way more often than not they will be open and kind with you.

You make the first move. Judge not.

Give yourself the time it takes – it’s, like, totally worth it!

New and beneficial disciplines – in health, fitness, thinking, career, sexlife, diet or whatever – take time to bed in and become a part of you. When you decide on an improvement you want to make in your life; such as giving up weed, always focusing on the positive, not judging other people, giving up refined sugar or carbs, taking up weightlifting, or stopping incessantly masturbating to hardcore porn, you must give yourself the time it takes for this new and positive habit to bed-in. You need to become it. Your beautiful new discipline must become a part of you, like a new limb. You need to make the transition from being someone who tries hard everyday to not eat Cocopops, to being someone who does not eat Cocopops. It’s not even on your radar to eat Cocopops, so it requires zero effort. You leave the old you behind and evolve into a new, slightly better, you. It’s called growth. We must all be growing all the time, because if you are not growing you are shrinking, stagnating, dying.

Knowing the right thing to do is crucial. It is a huge step, but it is only the first step. Consistent right-action and discipline, work and dedication will make this thought a reality – some of the time – then you’ll fall off the horse and feel like shit. That shitty feeling is very helpful tho. It becomes the putty in the wall you are building. It strengthens the overall structure. Every failure brings you closer to your destination. Every failure makes you more acquainted with yourself. You know yourself more and more intimately – you can console and cajole and discipline and encourage and congratulate and LOVE yourself more. This is growth. Know thyself.

I tried to give up cigarettes many times over the past few years. I failed every time. I knew it was a disaster for my health but I couldn’t kick the habit entirely. I rationalized. “I’ll do x, y or z now, that’ll benefit me. Can’t do too much at once. I need smoking now. I’ll give them up later.” What rubbish! Tricking myself. Weaker than weak. Two months ago tho, without any more conscious effort than before, I simply woke up one morning and knew that this time I had quit for good. I was not a smoker anymore. I haven’t had one since, have zero desire for one and can’t possibly image ever smoking again. I think it just took a lot of thinking, guilt, knowing I was doing a bad thing and ‘failed’ efforts to reach a point were my mind actually altered and I grew that ‘new limb’. I am not a smoker.

Once the process has started there is no turning back. There are only two possible outcomes. Either you win the fight, better yourself and reap the glorious rewards, or you lose the fight, give up and live with the anxiety and regret. You can’t forget, you can rationalize, but you can’t forget. You know what you want to do, you know how you want to live, you know the person you want to be. You can pretend to everyone else, but you can’t pretend to yourself.

Stick to the plan. Never give up. You will succeed with intelligent, dogged effort and consistency. Everything worth doing, whether it’s building a better physique, giving up cigarettes, getting over social anxiety or learning to climb trees, takes time. Taking the right journeys and sticking with them makes you a better person.

Give yourself time, don’t be lazy, start NOW, but give it time.

Failure is great!

It’s not how you deal with your ‘successes’, it’s how you deal with your ‘failures’ that determines how you get on in life.

Success is easy. It’s enjoyable, but you don’t learn much or grow much from it.

Failure, on the other hand, is a real test. You can either pass the test, and grow and evolve and become stronger, or you can fail the test and wither and die.

So what are you gonna do; stock up on weed, Pringles and ice-cream and roam around pornhub ’til the wee hours with your dick in your hand and a tear in your eye, or are you gonna have a look at what went wrong, regroup and get back on the horse?

The choice, as will always be the case, is yours.