I spent the first quarter (providing I live to 100) of my life being told what was acceptable and how I should act by parents, crap media, teachers, holy men, friends, indie musicians and society in general. The majority of the information I received was utter bollocks. It made me anxious and now it needs to be forgotten.
I was a natural born worrier – I regularly fretted about death, the future, my family, sex, my own shortcomings, everyone else’s shortcomings. I lived under a haze of mild depression throughout my teens and early twenties. I was an anxious adolescent. The only way I could relax was by using alcohol, drugs or masturbating (or all three).
Although on the outside I always appeared cocky and boisterous, (I always had great friends and the odd very sexy girlfriend), on the inside I never felt like I was enough. I had low self esteem. I never understood why I felt so helpless, hopeless and sad.
At the beginning of 2011 I reached breaking point. I was working a job I hated, going home to get high and masturbate every night, living on a couch, drinking way too much and my art was no longer fun. I retired to my family home (thanks mum!) to regroup.
Around this time I happened upon a Youtube video by dating guru and all-round positive mofo Kurt Spelling. He was an inspiring dude. He lit a fire under my ass. I began to read the different game blogs and ebooks. This lead to me reading books on confidence, fear, social dynamics, spirituality and philosophy. I was bitten by the reading bug. I began to read incessantly. “Holy shit, there is soooo much good information out there!”. (The only reading I had done prior to 2011 was newspapers). I bought myself a Kindle.
I realized that there are answers to my questions, there are ways to feel great and live life how you want to live it. I learned that there are NO RULES, and whoever said there were was WRONG. I finally realized that the world is my oyster and that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
This blog is about my ongoing journey of discovery. It focuses on love-life, dating, confidence, motivation and self-improvement.
I am going through a renaissance. I am happier than I ever thought I could be. Society tries to keep us down and make us mundane. We are being sold something at every turn. Social media, GARBAGE TV, porn, advertising – learn to ignore it all. School curriculum, university, boring job, IDEAS OF WHAT ONE CAN OR CAN’T DO – archaic, limiting, for the birds. Discount and detach yourself from it all and THINK FOR YOURSELF. Be your best self. Live at your edge. Be massive and love relentlessly.