(WARNING!! Rant alert!)
You miss out MASSIVELY and REGULARLY if you judge people you have never met.
Nobody is ever as they seem – you can NEVER judge a book by it’s cover.
I’ve been proven wrong countless times. Any judgement is completely in my head. It is a reflection on me and not the person being judged.
Judging without meeting HUGELY limits your potential enjoyment of life. Judging others is one of the mindsets that will limit your life-experience the most. It’s why I often have trouble approaching certain types of girls. It’s why there are many amazingly interesting and inspirational people that I come into contact with but fail to connect with on a (presumably) daily basis.
I assume to know (often unconsciously) what guys and girls I see are like. I judge them on their clothes, body-language, demeanor etc., – but this already superficial and shallow evidence is rendered even more flimsy by the fact that it is taken in through my skewed and colored lens, and processed by my biased and oft impetuous ego. It’s commonly a negative assumption that I make about people for some reason. This is highly detrimental to my state of mind.
EVERYBODY’S lens is skewed and biased and inaccurate, that’s why our judgments are so often wrong. We must be aware of this and be forever vigilant and self-aware. We must wage war on our propensity to jump to judgments. WE REALLY DON’T KNOW AS MUCH AS WE THINK WE DO.
I’M NEARLY ALWAYS PROVED WRONG when I eventually meet people that I formed a judgment on prior to our interacting. (“Hot, sassy, sexy women” I assume to be super-confident BUT turn out to be shy and vulnerable kittens, “huge, tough, tattooed gym guys” who look like they’re in gangs BUT turn out to be soft, kindly, humble and even timid gentlemen, “doddering, senile, ignorant and out of touch old people” who I am soooo much more advanced than BUT turn out to have life-experience, smarts and insight that I can’t even begin to imagine: I meet these prototypes ALL THE TIME.)
I gotta stop judging. I must totally condition myself to stop this super-harmful behavior. It’s all in my head – the bad vibes are coming from ME.
I choose what I think. I gotta have a totally open, positive mind; always thinking the best of people, until hard evidence proves otherwise.
Never write somebody off before you meet them.
Nobody is “as they look” – whatever the fuck that means.
I am literally always wrong about people – I just can’t tell accurately.
For example, last night at the gym I was feeling negative and mildly depressed (hung-over, ate some shitty food, masturbated before I left the house). I thought that everyone in the gym looked mean and that they would all be mean if I spoke to them. Fast forward to today; more gym. I feel good. I slept well last night, ate well this morning and my testosterone levels have recovered. I am certain there are no semen stains on my pants – life is good. Many of the same peeps are at the gym and this time I chat to them. Whaddya-know?! THEY’RE ALL NICE! Friendly, shy and eager to chat. Yesterday I thought they were all vain, too-cool-for-school and intimidating. Dead wrong I was.
You judge because you are afraid. It is a defense mechanism.
But it’s doing you so much harm.
How many times are you gonna let that cute stranger pass without saying “hi” because she looks aloof, or distant, or cold, or whatever?
The answer is almost always that they are a bit shy because they are unconsciously forming their own judgments.
BREAK THE CIRCLE. Never judge, but instead ENGAGE at every opportunity. Be totally involved in the human race. Be open and kind with your brothers and sisters and way more often than not they will be open and kind with you.
You make the first move. Judge not.