New and beneficial disciplines – in health, fitness, thinking, career, sexlife, diet or whatever – take time to bed in and become a part of you. When you decide on an improvement you want to make in your life; such as giving up weed, always focusing on the positive, not judging other people, giving up refined sugar or carbs, taking up weightlifting, or stopping incessantly masturbating to hardcore porn, you must give yourself the time it takes for this new and positive habit to bed-in. You need to become it. Your beautiful new discipline must become a part of you, like a new limb. You need to make the transition from being someone who tries hard everyday to not eat Cocopops, to being someone who does not eat Cocopops. It’s not even on your radar to eat Cocopops, so it requires zero effort. You leave the old you behind and evolve into a new, slightly better, you. It’s called growth. We must all be growing all the time, because if you are not growing you are shrinking, stagnating, dying.
Knowing the right thing to do is crucial. It is a huge step, but it is only the first step. Consistent right-action and discipline, work and dedication will make this thought a reality – some of the time – then you’ll fall off the horse and feel like shit. That shitty feeling is very helpful tho. It becomes the putty in the wall you are building. It strengthens the overall structure. Every failure brings you closer to your destination. Every failure makes you more acquainted with yourself. You know yourself more and more intimately – you can console and cajole and discipline and encourage and congratulate and LOVE yourself more. This is growth. Know thyself.
I tried to give up cigarettes many times over the past few years. I failed every time. I knew it was a disaster for my health but I couldn’t kick the habit entirely. I rationalized. “I’ll do x, y or z now, that’ll benefit me. Can’t do too much at once. I need smoking now. I’ll give them up later.” What rubbish! Tricking myself. Weaker than weak. Two months ago tho, without any more conscious effort than before, I simply woke up one morning and knew that this time I had quit for good. I was not a smoker anymore. I haven’t had one since, have zero desire for one and can’t possibly image ever smoking again. I think it just took a lot of thinking, guilt, knowing I was doing a bad thing and ‘failed’ efforts to reach a point were my mind actually altered and I grew that ‘new limb’. I am not a smoker.
Once the process has started there is no turning back. There are only two possible outcomes. Either you win the fight, better yourself and reap the glorious rewards, or you lose the fight, give up and live with the anxiety and regret. You can’t forget, you can rationalize, but you can’t forget. You know what you want to do, you know how you want to live, you know the person you want to be. You can pretend to everyone else, but you can’t pretend to yourself.
Stick to the plan. Never give up. You will succeed with intelligent, dogged effort and consistency. Everything worth doing, whether it’s building a better physique, giving up cigarettes, getting over social anxiety or learning to climb trees, takes time. Taking the right journeys and sticking with them makes you a better person.
Give yourself time, don’t be lazy, start NOW, but give it time.