I got very excitedly into game just over a year ago with the stated aim of being able to go up to any girl I find attractive and just “be normal and cool, unstifled, shoot-the-shit, be my best self and see how it goes”.
Obviously I have internalized many outer game concepts over the last year of immersing myself in game theory and practicing in field. I use this smattering of outer game mainly subconsciously (as, of course do ‘anti-game’ guys like Aaron Sleazy and Assanova), but in the main I try to keep things as natural and unplanned as possible. This fits with how I want to live. I want to be free and giving and loving and open.
So if you are like me then what you really want is to be able to take right action and freely go after what you desire in a calm, cool and un-needy way, your way.
Having good info based on other peoples’ experiences is helpful but you need to be in-field forming your own, patented style of game. You are an individual. It is only through practice that you happen upon and develop the natural, idiosyncratic elements of your own personality that make girls go weak at the knees foryou.
As the mighty Roosh once said “If you see a girl you are attracted to and your legs don’t begin to walk towards her then something needs fixing” (it was something along those lines anyway.) I guess this is a bit extreme but I like, and agree with, the sentiment.
Absolute social freedom and the ability to do anything you pleased out in the wild would feel great. I am getting closer to it, I am more chilled, unstifled and happy than ever before, but I have a very long way to go. Maybe I’ll never completely get there. I would imagine there are very few sane people in the world that have literally zero qualms about approaching anybody, anywhere, anytime, but it’s a nice aim to have. Ultimately the journey is the most important part, the destination doesn’t even exist yet. LOVE the process of bettering yourself. LOVE leaning into your fears. LOVE surfing the scary waves. LOVE INTERACTING WITH BEAUTIFUL, CRAZY GIRLS. LOVE practicing your game.
If you are working towards being unstifled and confident and unafraid etc etc but you are not exactly where you want to be yet; then the only way to get there is through practice. Not reading another book, or watching another Tyler vid. You gotta talk to girls.
I find that if I am out officially ‘practicing’ my daygame, maybe with an approach quota, then I am a lot more likely to approach that hottie when I see her. My head is in approach mode. But often when I am not thinking about approaching and I see a hottie I freeze and do nothing.
My aim is to get to a point where I am unconsciously competent, but I’m clearly not there yet (I will get there though, it’ll take me a lot more time and hard work but that’s cool). Being unconsciously competent would mean approaching any girl I want without having to PUSH myself to do it. It would just ‘happen’ naturally, like drinking a glass of water when I’m thirsty.
The only way to get to unconscious competence is to put in many hours of practice, have tones of real life interactions, form new beliefs and make fundamental changes to your thought processes. This could only take time. But it’ll be a fun ride.
So that’s how you get good with girls; practice, being brave regularly, learning to LOVE interacting with cute girls, risking rejection everyday, enjoying rejection, growing into a better man over time, growing a pair…