I’d still rather be Ben Stiller than Cameron Diaz……..

……….. although I guess both have their pluses.

The act of trying to find pretty, fun girls to have sex with can be difficult for many men. So much so that a multi-million dollar pickup industry has developed over the past decade. Men pay hundreds of pounds for instructional DVD sets and even fork out thousands to hang out in nightclubs for two nights with the so called experts. (Maybe this works, I’ve never done it so I cant say. But in my opinion there’s nothing you can learn in two nights that will really stick in the long term, so it’s not worth the money. Better to make your own plan of action and kick you own ass until you sort the problem. It’ll probably take years. It’ll definitely take longer than two nights.)

But while this is an area that most men will (should) admit they need to work on, at least we can work on it. There is lots of room for improvement and development and this is exciting! The sky’s the limit. All that is keeping many men back from having a great dating life is their faulty thinking patterns, societal conditioning and perhaps their soft, unconditioned, uninspiring modern bodies. All this can be fixed! Once the shackles are off and the vices ditched their love-life, and life in general, can be so much more rewarding.

In short, as a male the choice is yours; man-the-fuck-up or give-the-fuck-up.

In my opinion what would be much harder would be being a female trying to negotiate our dating market. A women has barely any power to control her own destiny in this area. Sure, she can turn down guys she doesn’t want, but she has very few ways and means to go after guys she does want.

Fluttering eyelashes, standing remotely near, making brief eye contact; these are the weapons in the female’s pickup arsenal, hardly guaranteed hits, hardly nuclear bombs that can’t miss. Most men don’t even manage to pick up on these subtle signals.

At least guys can grab the bull by the horns and go after what they want. It may be stressful but it is also beautiful. The world is a man’s oyster. Nothing is off bounds. He can go and chat up a girl anyplace. A girl cannot.

Now, it’s possible that because males and females are hardwired differently that perhaps this inability to go after what she wants doesn’t vex a woman in the same way that it vexs a man. She is not particularly attracted to a handsome stranger unless he has the balls to do the work for her. Him being alpha enough to approach her is a prerequisite for her really wanting him.

Maybe being able to make the romance happen is one of the main ways a guy can be attractive to a girl?

For a man the only prerequisite for at least having a chat is a girl’s physical appearance. He will not deduct any points for a girl not stepping up to him. He doesn’t need his girl to be brave in this way. But a girl probably does. A shy, bumbling, retiring man, even if he was blessed with a handsome face, is rarely an attractive man, despite what Hollywood rom coms may tell us.

Men make their own luck. Women hope that a man has the alpha male juice to make his own luck and, perhaps read her signs – or not, but step up to her and lead her to a place she longs to go. She wants, nay craves, his masculine strength and clarity. If a man can’t make his own luck in the dating market, using his guile and bravery, then he is not an attractive man.

It may be difficult guys, but at least we don’t have to sit on our hands and wait like the girls.

It may be difficult girls, but at least you have a semi-effective vetting system for who’ll have the most potent, alpha seed.

Or maybe I have no idea what it’s like to be a girl and I’m a zillion miles off the mark?

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